You might one day contemplate that love is what’s different or that it’s contrasting for everyone. You might also sense that it’s complicated and no one can genuinely interpret it, cualquiera. जितने मुँह उतनी बातें.
But let me have your attention to this terrifying and…déchirante feeling I had when I was held away from her with no intimations. How does that sound;
Yup, it was probably admissible for the rest of the students and it was probably fantastic for them to know that their sitting plan has been changed. It was just me who was lacking self-control; I was broken.
I felt intense pain to have someone else sit in her place instead of her.
Never does this ever happened to me, I was a person who liked to have changed and admired talking to random people, randomly.
Itna dukh to 7-8 baar section change hone pr bhi nahi hua.
I enjoyed sitting next to new people and entertain but now it was like I hated everyone for having anything changed. I felt suffocated.
I didn’t want to change. I wanted to go back to her and sit next to her and laugh at our silly-cum-sensible. I felt I couldn’t survive that 3 hours of exam without her. Nonetheless, I felt like not living my whole life without her…
Having rage at my feelings, I went to the washroom and tried to be normal; not completely but it helped a bit.
All I have are feelings and this feeling left a huge impact on me, perhaps, my life.
The nice boy who always smiled for no reason was now dying in himself.
Tears couldn’t find a way out but that had nothing to do with what was going in him.
No one cared and I felt I was alone in this.
At one point I thought, when I was smiling so much, that even if I were a close friend of mine, I would have never known what was going on with my friend because he acted so natural.
“How come everyone is so normal today when my heart was being flooded”, I wondered, sadly.
I wish I could tell her what I was suffering through but once again I
gave away my feelings for her and had a fake smile stick that contemplated how flawless life I was roving through and that I was much happy with everything around me despite what’s going on inside me.
Even if there’s so much to be proud of in my life, I burst to say that I was sad that day.
All this for what?
All this for just a smile on her face, so that she doesn’t have to bother what’s
sad in her life…
Or maybe I was just afraid to express myself.
Thanks for reading!